Having worked in a litigation and debt recovery department in a law firm and then owning my own award-winning SEO marketing agency I have come across my fair share of “difficult” clients and awkward conversations in a range of uncomfortable situations.
I also hold qualifications in counselling psychotherapy, which have put me in better stead to deal with scenarios that could be thought of as confronting.
When I worked at B P Collins in the litigation & dispute resolution team, I handled frustrated client calls by letting them rant. I listened to them, let them get the pressing issue off their chest and then when they had calmed down we were able to resolve the matter.
Listening without an agenda is key here.
The following are some classic behaviours we all deal in our professional working lives, and some examples of what they might look like, with some tips in helping deal with them.
Understanding how to recognise “difficult” client behaviours and manage them effectively
Human behaviours come in these four ways:
Aggressive
Someone showing aggressive behaviour is their fight response in a matter. Their goal is conflict. They will try and intimidate, humiliate and their goal is to win.
Indirect aggressive
Indirect aggressive behaviour shows up through manipulation, emotional blackmail, and sarcasm. Others might not see it and you might even think it’s your fault as it’s so subtle. We all know this term as “passive-aggressive”.
Passive
Passive behaviour is a classic flight response to a problem. They will try and ignore any conflict and will remain harmonious to all throughout. Their rights are violated and have an urge to please to make it all go away. In litigation and disputes, this behaviour is tricky!
Assertive
If someone show assertive behaviour their goal is direct, open and probably appropriate as it’s honest.
It is clear from the above list that assertive training goes a long way! We all need to learn that skill for our working lives.
If we default as passive in our own behaviour, how do we deal with clients who show up as aggressive or indirectly aggressive?
The “difficult” client shows up in your mind as this, but to a colleague, their default behaviour can easily deal with that person. It’s how the client makes you feel and therefore putting feelings aside and dealing with the facts can enormously help resolve the situation.
Examples of what a “difficult” client does
A “difficult” person in a client situation is generally someone who creates challenges within your professional relationship. Ever come across any of these behaviours?
- A client with unreasonable demands. Their requests and urgent needs are totally unrealistic or out of scope with what you can provide.
- The client who frequently complains. It doesn’t matter how big or small the issue is, they are never satisfied and will complain about any solutions offered.
- That client who never communicates…..this person can be vague and inconsistent which then makes it frustrating to understand their needs and expectations. When a client is unresponsive this causes delays, and disruptions to workflows sometimes culminating in last-minute stress.
- I mentioned the aggressive character previously in this blog. This person, depending on if they are pure aggressive or passive-aggressive and might show up by being rude or condescending, often blaming you for any issues.
- Ever worked with a client who is a micromanager? You explain to them at the outset what your hourly rate is and then they don’t want to be billed for the time they take by called and emailing wanting to control every detail of the matter.
- The late payers. Depending on your terms and conditions, size of firm etc, your late payer clients are those who consistently delay payments or try to avoid fulfilling their financial obligations. These clients then become your cashflow problem.
- Changing expectations (who include the mission creepers….” can you also just do …..”. These clients frequently change their requirements (I have seen this not so much in law, but with construction, building and property deals). These “difficult” clients make it difficult to complete a matter or project efficiently, which is a knock-on for further client work and of course can be challenging with its billing time.
- Clients who lack respect for professional boundaries. They don’t respect your time, and will contact you outside of working hours (or agreed hours) and expect an immediate response. If they have your mobile number, watch out! You must set your own personal boundaries too.
My top 10 tips for dealing with “difficult” clients
We all have our own experiences, skillset and expertise when it comes to working in professional services or running our businesses. Dealing with difficult people or frustrating situations requires a mixture of patience, professionalism, and a thought-out strategy.
These are my top tips in how I handle some ouch moments!
1. Stay Calm and Professional. You might feel like you’re in the firing line and it’s a personal attack, but maintain your composure and professionalism at all times. Do not take their behaviour personally.
2. Listen Actively. I studied person-centred counselling (Carl Rogers) and actively listening is one of the principal ways to help someone whose behaviour is unleashed on you. Let your client express their concerns and complaints fully without interrupting them. Don’t have an argument ready in response. If you work in contentious work….this will be hard for you! Do not react. Show empathy and understanding by acknowledging their feelings. Half the time, they just want to get whatever is bothering them off their chest and be heard.
3. Set Clear Boundaries. We have seen banks and trains with their clear boundaries of how their employees should be treated. It’s essentially the same thing, establish clear guidelines on what is acceptable behaviour and what isn’t. It could be firmwide, or a confrontational conversation that is happening. Be firm but polite when communicating these boundaries. It is not acceptable to be on the end of aggression. When it comes to the client who continually emails or calls out of hours, put your own boundaries in place, communicate this with your colleagues/bosses/HR manager so they know what’s going on too.
4. Communicate Clearly. If your own communication with your client is vague then the continued working relationship will be built on that. Ensure your communication is clear, concise, and transparent. If the matters hits a problem (court backlog, HMRC nightmare, third party issue), communicate this efficiently and in a straightforward manner. Explain what can and cannot be done.
5. Find Common Ground. Depending on the area of expertise you and your team are offering the client, look for areas where you and the client both agree. After actively listening, and hearing them out, the resolution for building on these agreed points can help ease any tensions or awkwardness to enable the work flow to continue without any further issues.
6. Stay Solution-Focused. Sometimes a client will just want to rant and be heard with no agenda on your part (i.e. unconditional listening). If the conversation needs some redirection, however, finding a solution rather than dwelling on that problem will be beneficial for all parties involved. Always ask what they would consider a satisfactory resolution. Open communication with full transparency will be important for them to reset the trust in the working relationship.
7. Document Everything. If you’re reading this you probably work in law so this point will be a no-brainer for you! It’s a reminder however to evidence and keep detailed records of all communications, agreements, and interactions. In law, you know how it works, back yourself up and evidence everything. Hopefully, a difficult client’s behaviour won’t lead to a dispute but if they believe something has happened and you can evidence that you did as agreed then this might resolve a heightened situation effectively.
9. Look After Yourself. One in five of us needed to take time off work due to stress in the past year (read report from Mental Health UK). Dealing with difficult clients can be really stressful. Please take care of your own well-being and avoid burnout. Is the client angry because something has been missed? Are you covering someone else’s work? Is there a software issue that keeps glitching? Is your senior partner or boss helping?
10. Know When to Walk Away. As woman in business, I had to learn to become tougher and more assertive. People took advantage of my kindness and I used to be that person who wanted to please everyone. What a lesson I had to learn, and quickly. I had to learn to write more effective terms & conditions and ensure that the client read and understood not just the practical terms but the boundary terms too. I had to walk away from a few clients and never once did I regret it. If a client is consistently abusive or unreasonable, it might be best to end the professional relationship. If you work in a firm with colleagues who are better suited to dealing with someone’s behaviour, have that chat. Speak to your line manager. However, sometimes, it’s just better to let go of a difficult client than to let them drain your resources and energy. Your headspace will be better placed elsewhere.
I found having template emails to hand comforting! As a communications professional in the legal sector for decades, I always have professional responses and actions up my sleeve, which has held me in good stead. I have also written many letters under the guise of my clients in business to help them deal with certain situations together with writing better terms of engagement for them.
Having example email templates for different situations that are written to be direct, polite and non-confrontational can be super helpful. Here are some I have used or written for others.
The client with unreasonable demands – how to nip it in the bud!
Hi [ ]
Subject Line: Clarification on Matter / Project
I hope this email finds you well. I wanted to discuss some recent requests to ensure we are aligned on the matter [insert specifics].
Our initial agreement outlines [briefly describe agreed-upon services, include letter of instruction plus terms]. Your recent requests for [specific demands] unfortunately exceed this agreement. I’m happy to accommodate additional needs, or answer any questions arising from (insert area of expertise e.g. legal/accounting/legislation/SEO/tech/management] specifics, but these changes will require an adjustment in our timeline [and budget/agreed costs – or if change of capped fee].
Could we schedule a meeting to discuss how best to proceed? Thank you for your understanding.
Kind regards……
The client who constantly complaints
Hi [ ]
Subject: Addressing Your Concerns
Thank you for sharing your concerns about [specific issue]. I understand the importance of this matter to you and appreciate your feedback. To ensure we address your concern/s effectively, could you provide more details about the specific issues to help my colleague and I implement the best possible solution for you and to understand where your concerns lie.
As a firm, we are committed to delivering all our clients a quality service and of course, want to deliver the best solutions.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Kind regards…..
The aggressive client – if the professional relationship can be salvaged
Dear (rather than hi in this regard)….
Subject: Professional Communication
I hope this email finds you well. I wanted to address the tone of our recent communications. It’s important for us to maintain a professional and respectful dialogue to ensure the best outcomes for working agreement.
Please let me know if there’s anything specific that’s causing your frustration so we can work together to resolve it.
Thank you for your understanding.
NOTE: if the aggressive client is being disrespectful and impacting your work and the professional relationship is unsalvageable the following email/letter may be more appropriate.
The aggressive client – if the professional relationship is broken and needs to end
Dear….
Unfortunately, we have had to make the difficult decision to terminate our contract effective from [xx].
Due to recent problems [insert e.g. Delays in communication/aggressive behaviour to colleagues/unreasonable expectations), it has come to my attention that [b2b or individual to business] isn’t a good fit for one another.
We would like to refer you to [another firm], who also have a focus [specific matter and requirements] and might be a better fit for your needs.
In the meantime, we will be finalising any outstanding work, providing any remaining deliverables and preparing the account for closure. [Monies on account can be returned once the final bill is issued or alternatively, you can instruct us to use the monies on account to close your account].
If you’d like to discuss this further, I’d be happy to discuss the matter over the phone or in person. Thank you very much for your business, and [on behalf of – firm and] I wish you all the best for the future.
Yours sincerely
The unresponsive client
Hi …..
Subject: Follow-Up on Matter/Project
I hope this email finds you well.
I’m writing to follow up on my previous message [emails, phone calls, letters etc] regarding [specific project/task/matter]. Your input and communication are crucial for us to move forward in this matter, and we are currently waiting on [specific information or approval needed].
Could you please provide the necessary information or let us know when we can expect it? This will help us stay on schedule [and ensure the matter is effectively reached / ensure the project’s success].
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
Kind regards,
NOTE: if sending by email implement your read action for evidencing and maybe print this email out and send by signed delivery to their postal address.
The last example email is the biggie for many small businesses…..the clients who continually pay late.
The client who always pays late
Hi / Dear (whatever you prefer!)
Subject: Outstanding Payment Reminder
I hope this email finds you well.
This is a friendly reminder that the payment for [specific invoice or service] was due on [due date]. As of today, we have not received the payment. Could you please provide an update on the payment status?
Ensuring timely payments helps us maintain uninterrupted service and uninterrupted progress of your matter.
If you are having any problems paying your invoice/s, please let me know at your earliest so we discuss how to move forward.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Kind regards…………
NOTE: the late payer who refuses to pay and says they are not happy with work done but you have documented and evidenced everything done appropriately, then the time has come to send them the Letter Before Action…..if you’re working in a law firm reading this, then you won’t need me to tell you what to say, but if you’re not a law firm you do not have to have a solicitor write a letter before action to your debtor, however in my experience, authority goes a long way…..
To round up this article and to summarise, there are always going to be situations at work that are uncomfortable, whether that’s a “difficult” client or a nightmare boss, it’s often knowing how to handle situations that gets you through.
Identifying the problem is half the battle, therefore:
- Establish
- Explore
- Eliminate
- Evaluate
The above pointers are how counsellors learn how to work on their clients’ issues and guide them.
CORPORATE COERCIVE CONTROL – ARTICLE
Good luck in any of the above situations, and if you’d like an ear to chew, please do get in touch with me, I’m happy to listen.
Elaine